Hi guys,
I know the last time I posted was like a month ago and the
time frame between my posts are just getting longer and longer. It’s just, I’m getting really close to
my As now and literally all I do majority of the times is go to school, come
home, sleep and then maybe study and do my homework. I do nothing new or
exciting to talk about in my blog and also most of the times, I’m just really
really tired. Can’t wait for my exams
to get over and then I can become more active on my blog.
In the past one month since school has started, a lot has
happened and changed…not really in a positive way. A lot of things just hit me
really hard in terms of school, studies, relationship, friends, my body, ya
know, the usual things that I suppose majority of the girls (or even boys) face
in their JC /Poly years. And they can get really overwhelming, to the point, it
becomes hard to stay optimistic anymore.
I know I’m not the only one going through this. A lot of
people around my age are facing their own challenges right now and I know just
like me, they probably find it a struggle to get through every single day. Some
might be having things even worse and I know many even resort to some
really stupid things to ease their pain.
Guys if you do go to the extent of self harm, drinking or
smoking to ease your worries and “forget about your troubles”, please don’t.
It’s not worth it.
Self harm will only hurt you and destroy your body- NOT
SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS
Drinking will only harm you mentally and destroy your liver
– NOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS
Smoking will only make you feel calm for a while until you
feel the need to take another stick when the effect fades off and destroy your
lungs and lower your lifespan – NOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS
So what’s the common factor we see in all these “solutions”-
YES they do NOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS and only give you more problems to deal
with because it will really negatively affect you both mentally and physically.
When you feel really down, and I mean really really really
down in the dumps, just take a break, lie down on your bed, switch off your
phones and shut your laptops if you have to, and just think. Think deeply about
where you’re going in life, what is really going on with you, with the people
around you, what are the things bothering you and most importantly, what
matters to you the most at that point and will that make you happy?
I’m a deep thinker by nature. I can just drown in my own
thoughts until I get disconnected with the reality around me. I guess in a way
that’s a good thing because it helps me to constantly reflect about my
life and actually understand what is going on. One night, I was lying down and
I couldn’t sleep. And that’s when it hit me. Is there really a point in being
so sad all the time? Yeah things are in a huge mess right now but is me being
all upset and angry about it going to solve anything? And I realized, maybe
that’s why it’s so hard for me to be happy. Because I complain more than
actually doing something about my problems. I feel sad over things I don’t have
rather than feel grateful for the things I do. I live in a dark tunnel without
taking the effort to search for the light. Obviously things will never be right
this way.
And so I came up with a few reminders to keep myself
positive and happy whenever I feel down and I’d like to share them with you
too.
Learn to accept and FACE your challenges
Our biggest problem is probably being in
denial or running away from our problems. I’m a culprit of this too. I tend to
not accept certain things. For instance, I’m an extremely lazy person. I know
there are some things I should be doing first but I keep procrastinating and
telling myself that they can be done later or “Oh I don’t have to do that essay,
anyway my teacher will go through it and I’ll get it. No problem”. And when
people tell me I’m lazy and that’s why I don’t do well, I’d get all defensive
like “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU BE SO INSENSITIVE? DON’T YOU SEE ALL THE
HARDWORK I PUT IN???” when in reality the hardwork = a few hours of studying
with lots of breaks. This term, however, I’ve realized I cannot be like that
anymore. The fact is I’m lazy and if I don’t put in any effort, if I don’t do
anything about it, reality is I’m
not going to do well for my As. So
guys, don’t be in denial. It’s better to know your problems and find solutions
for it than to deny it and let the problem grow and grow until it consumes you
Learn to Let go things that are not in your
control and embrace changes
Yes she/he was your bestest friend in the
whole entire world but now she/he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore and has
found someone else. Yeah you were in so much love with him/her and things were
going great but something didn’t work out and you two had to break up and you
just don’t get it how. Yeah he/she now has feelings for someone else and you
find it completely inhumane how he/she can move on so fast. Yeah things used to
be so much easier and happier but now life just seems to be crashing down on
you and you just don’t know what to do…
You know what?
LET IT GOOOOO
Everything happens for a reason. I always
believed that our life is already written by someone greater. You may not
understand why all these “bad” things are happening to you right now but you
will in the future. Don’t try to force things to happen that you clearly know
isn’t going to be. If that friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever, is really
meant to be a part of your life, then no matter how much you guys fall apart,
life will bring you two back together. So let it go , accept what is happening
and move on. It’ll be hard but it’s the only way you can be happy. And if life
is getting harder, then make yourself tougher
Every once a while, remember the things you feel
fortunate for
Probably the most cliché advice, but I find
it so relevant. We are living in such a fragile world, guys. Somewhere out
there, hundreds of lives are being lost everyday, families are getting torn
apart, and people see blood more than water. Somewhere in the world, poverty is
so intense that they don’t even have the money to eat everyday, let alone have
a decent house to live in or even get a proper, basic education. And here we
are in a comfortable house, our families safe and sound, you have food to eat
everyday and most importantly, AT LEAST you have the opportunity to study no
matter how “stressful” you find the education here to be. You will feel better
when you count your blessings because it will make you realize all the things
you already have that you can be happy about rather than little things that
you’re constantly feeling sad over,
Go out, spend time alone, make yourself have
some fun
I think one of the reasons why we become so sad is because we don't prioritize our happiness. We never give ourselves the time to sit back and enjoy life because we are always doing things either to please others or for the future. Sometimes, it is important to just stop, forget about the world or the things you have to complete and do something that will make YOU happy. I usually do this by going window shopping alone after school or going to macs alone and treating myself to some good ol junk food without worrying about the fats I'm consuming, I treat myself double scoop of my favourite Swensens sticky chewy ice cream, I take pictures of random things that I find pretty or cute, I sit and listen to all my favourite songs and watch bollywood movies even though I may have a test tomorrow to study for. Sometimes, it is important to sacrifice seemingly important things if that is what will make you happy. My sister told me once "you can die anytime, do you really wanna regret at that last moment that you never gave yourself the time to do things that you love or sacrificed more important aspects of your life because of stressing about the future? "
Find joy in the little things
This one's probably the hardest? When things go really bad, it's hard to find things that can make you happy when you feel the whole world is against you. But trust me, even on the worst days, some thing or the other will happen that will have the power to make you smile. Most of the times we can be really ignorent to it. For instance, look at the sky deeply and see how pretty it is, look at how that father is patiently answering his 5 year old son while sitting on the bus as his little son asks the most stupidest questions, look how that person is smiling while looking at their phone, look how you got a seat in the train/bus at the peak hour, you know, little things like that. Just look around more and be more attuned to the things happening around you. It's quite fascinating. On my worst days, I always do that because I can't be bothered to think about my own life anymore. And it always makes me smile when I see happy people or pretty things. Life isn't always such a ruthless place.
Well anyway, these are some of my ways to make me happy and I hope you find it useful too. I know many of my friends, if they do read my blog, will find it such an irony to see me telling people how to be happy when I'm like the most whiniest little thing on earth. But well...I'm trying to change. Because I'm kind of done being sulky and sad and whiny and angry most of the times. It really brings no good to me. I just get more distant from people. I want to be happy even on the worst and most stressful days and I'm the only one who can make me happy. You're the only one who can make yourself happy too. Don't depend on others for your happiness
Anyway that's pretty much all I wanted to say for today. Thanks for reading this post if you made it all the way till here haha. I know it's pretty long.
And wishing an early Selamat Hari Raya to all my Muslim friends :)
Have a good day yo
See ya :)
